...pOiNtLeSs ThOuGhTs...

 By Ressa Gay Palma

(Tunog PInoy for The Filipino Expats, UAE)

On the last night of the  Second Filipino Expo in Dubai, expats were serenaded by the Philippines’ Queen of Bossa Nova, Sitti Navarro.

Sitti, which means “lady or woman” in Arabic is indeed an epitome of a Filipina beauty. She not only possess a soothing singing voice but as well beauty and brains. A graduate of Business Economics from the University of the Philippines and of Maranao descent, hence the name Sitti, she is now one of the most sought-after artist in the local scene. Admittedly, Sitti says she wasn’t the one responsible in bringing bossa nova to the Philippines as there were already other artists prior to her. She would jokingly say “I just got lucky!” and admits she felt so blessed for making it big.

Although Astrud Gilberto- the singer who popularized “The Girl from Ipanema”  - the song that won a  Grammy in 1965 and introduced Bossa Nova to the world, remains her favorite, Sitti has a lot of other music influences such as Gal Costa – a famous Brazilian singer.

 Sitti made a mark in the Philippine music scene and now dubbed as the Philippines’ Queen of Bossa Nova.  Her debut album “Café Bossa” was a certified double platinum which includes tracks such as “ Tattoed in my Mind”(a remake), I didn’t Know I was looking for Love, Hey Look at The Sun and Para Sa Akin. Her other albums “Sitti Live” is a certified Gold and “My Bossa Nova” is a certified platinum.

Her latest album “Contagious” that contains 16 tracks with three originals was just released second quarter of 2009 continues to mesmerize her fans.

She is a regular at ASAP – a musical show every Sunday aired at ABS-CBN with a segment called “SESSIONISTAS” with other artists such as Richard Poon, MYMP, Aiza Seguerra and Nina. Versatile as she is, Sitti was also involved in theatre in 2008 and was part of “Katy: The Musical”. And for the last quarter of 2009, she will be portraying “Martha” in “Spring Awakening” - a 19^th century award winning drama to be staged in the Philippines by Atlantis Productions.

For the Bossa Nova lovers and Sitti fans, you can all visit http://www.sittionline.com/ for latest updates.

*Press peeps from Gulf News, Khaleej Times and Star Studio Middle East were there for the interview. Special thanks to NIKKI of SSME and her hubby for the photo.

*Thanks Sitti!

By: Ressa Gay   (unedited article for the Filipino Expats)

It’s the wedding month again and the pressure month for the desperate singles!

The month of June reminds me of the June brides, the June-brides-to be and the hoping-to-be June Brides. Whew! This makes me think and think again. What is there in getting married that most of the friends I know wanted to be wed before their thirties? What is there in staying single that makes us think we can be happier than the ones who are married? This is a dilemma that everyone may have gone thru and is still going thru.  As what was taught, there are three different vocations one may want to pursue in life, these are, staying blessedly single, getting married or serving full time for God.

Staying Blessedly Single

This is a vocation of our own making. Why do I say so? Perhaps because I have known a few who choose to remain single because they are afraid to risk the pains of getting hurt if they love, or because of a past experience that may have caused them so much pain. Others I have known choose to stay single because they think they are not the marrying type and that they enjoy the company of their friends and are not so into committing. Some choose responsibility towards their family and are too busy to entertain the thought of having a partner. While others have already made their choice, there are those who are desperate and miserable finding the right person that most often led to the wrong person. 

Staying single isn’t at all a tragedy. As they say, you can always make yourself happy. Just count all your blessings and it should suffice. And when you’re happy, be content.

Getting Married

Contrary to what the blessedly singles think, getting married is not a magic carpet ride. Albeit being loved and loving is a great feeling, it doesn’t mean one is exempt from the possibility of getting hurt. There are those who got married for the wrong reasons, those who said they didn’t have a choice because of circumstances. Others got married because they are so in love and that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Some found their best friends thru their lovers, and some even are arranged.

Getting married isn’t always a fairy tale. As they say, “hindi ito parang kaning madaling isubo na kapag napaso ay pwedeng iluwa!” This is another decision of our own making. If it makes us happy, then be content.

Serving Full Time for God

 I couldn’t really say much about it because I haven’t been there, nonetheless, this vocation once dawned upon me. Serving full time for GOD is probably the best, but not the easiest. One has to serve the people and this isn’t a joke.

Whichever vocation we want to pursue in life isn’t served in a silver platter. We just have to learn to live with it. If it makes us happy at the end of the day, then let’s be content.   –athenaressa-

Just Lovin these songs! enjoy guys! Everybody's Changing is just awesome! :)

The Latest Buzz:

Everyone seemed interested in the Katrina-Hayden Scandal nowadays. It is probably one of the biggest buzz happening for the Filipino People in the world wide web. As a pinoy expat, It made me interested to watch the video as well. In spite of the fact that it was deleted in youtube, videos are still circulating. This time involving a Brazilian model, Maricar Reyes, and so on...

On Hayden:

I cant seem to understand why Hayden in the first place took the video when he made love or had sex (is a more appropriate term) with the women on the video. He is sick and he definitely needs help.

On the Uploaders:

The incident happened 2 years ago in the case of Katrina and probably even longer for the other two ladies. It wasnt supposed to be uploaded. The act may be "sagwa" to look at, but let's face it, sex is a part of life. The Filipino people isnt ready to accept those kinds and our culture says that we are a "conservative" people.  Why the hell it was posted anyway? To make Hayden a star? WTF!

For the Ladies: Katrina and Maricar

No matter how people judge you based on what they saw on the video, you know yourselves better. We all make mistakes in our lives and if you did it out of love, then the hell with Hayden and with everyone. I  admired Katrina's courage in facing the truth, and if people may say that she is a bitch, she's one-helluva bitch who is never afraid.

On Making Love and Having Sex:

Making love is supposed to be an intimate act between two people. Souls interconnecting and not just the body gratifying its lust. Kahit mag babuyan pa sila as long as its kept private, then it's perfectly fine.  Making love isnt supposed to be humiliating the other person. It is neither proving to everyone how manly a person could be nor disrespecting the other by installing hidden cameras. It is supposed to be shared by two people and not just enjoyed by one. If Maricar and Katrina felt love at the time of doing it with hayden, they were just celebrating their being women. The sad fact is that,  they have loved the wrong person, a sex-maniac I should say.

I am not putting all my blame to Hayden, but he should be. He was the one who was aware of the camera in the first place. He had a motive and now it is affecting not just the women on the video but rather our filipino community, particulary, us women.

It makes me think men, are they alike? Is it just the sex they want in a relationship? Do they have a heart? Some maybe, but most dont have. (Sorry Guys!)

To all the women who are and were victims of such scandals, bear in mind that whatever may have happened to you, it will not make you less as a human being. You have worth as the nurturer of the earth!

Padayon Filipina!

Pointless Thoughts by Ressa Gay Palma

Be Careful What you Wish For!

There came a point in my life when I got bored of its mediocrity. I desired for an adventure and wanted to spice up life. Many said, “we have to live life to the fullest!” and then we live, not just exist. So  I lived. I made decisions which I believed could spice up my life in a way better than just adding “ginisa flavor mix!”  I joined the club of the desperate singles who seek for companionship thru entering the so-called pseudo-relationships.

 “We are together but not officially”, as I often tell my roommates as to my current status with a guy I was dating.  It was exciting and fun at first. But it was more complicated than I thought it was! Women have these tendencies to fall even when they (we) know that we are not supposed to because we are aware that the other party has another party somewhere. I did not commit adultery of course, but I dated someone whom I knew  was committed to someone but apparently not here.

 I desired colours for my life and a rainbow was served to me in a silver platter. What Am I getting at really? I am hurting, because I fell and my heart was broken. And what makes it more complicated is the fact that he despises me now and accused  me of doing something I did not do. I never intended to ruin a relationship, I even decided to let go before it was too late, but there are just things that are bound to happen that even if  we beg destiny not to, it will. The world is so small and we wont really know that the people they know may be related to the people we also know. That was exactly what happened.

God has his perfect ways of waking us up from a dream. Sometimes very drastic and could hurt us so much that it makes us want to just scream. I’ve  awaken from that dream now and have learnt my lessons.  Life is simple but our decisions make it complicated because we desired so. It is always a choice, but human as we are, sometimes our judgements fail. Hence, we need His guidance because if we are stubborn, He for sure will teach us lessons.  Most often, these lessons are learnt  the hard way.

I wished for life’s spices and it was given to me, served hot! I have had my share and I know it will make me better.

To you, I am sorry! In time, our whys will be answered. If we had to get hurt just to make things right, then so be it.

Xoxo,

R

Woman....

Your strength is unprecented

your patience is limitless

you love is unconditional...

Mother...

your womb is thy infant's home

you sacrifice is thy son's and daughter's strength..

To my Mom,

I may not have shown how much I care for you a lot because I am away, but I do. I love you and you made me who I am right now. I may have imperfections as your daughter, but I am trying to be the best I can be. For all my wrongs, I am sorry. For not being there for the family, I am sorry.

Mama,

You are my strength. Thank you for understanding me and my being stubborn. You have always known what is best for me, although at times, I insist on what I want. You taught me to be strong, for me and for our family. Whatever burdens you are carrying right now, I am sad that I cant be there for you.

I am just here and I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!

To all my friends who are mothers... hapy mother's day too.

Regards,

R

I used to go trekking with some friends back home and one time, we lost the trail. We didnt have a choice but to go on and make a new one. It was tiring but fun. We didnt know what lies ahead of us. We just followed the leader who was more experienced. I remember during my days with the BSP (yes I was with the Boy Scouts! roverette tahay), we were told that if you found a river with two paths and you dont know which way to go, always follow the left because it will lead you to the edge. We were lost yet we found a way. This applies to life as well. We are lost souls finding the path that will lead us to that edge. And when we reach that destination, we appreciate the journey even more. We would always look back to what we have become along the journey. We laugh at the funny moments, cry at the trying times and rejoice at our victories. I am totally lost, never knowing where I am and where I stand. I know one day though, I will be found again... Sabi nga ni David Gates, Find me! :) more blogs to come once my laptop gets fixed....this is effing nonsense... will try to compose myself so that I will make sense next time though.

Regards, R

If life is so short
Why don't you let me love you
Before we run out of time If love is so strong
Why won't you take the chance
Before our time has gone
If life is so short, if life is so short
Love is a word that explains how I feel for you
And when you're in my arms, all my dreams come true
And when you're not around
You can't hardly see
These tears that I'm crying now are for you to be with me

*** This song by 'The Moffats' really hit me. The lyrics explains how I felt. It gave me a certain realization about life and not wasting it while we have the time. No matter how risky, no matter how uncertain we can be of the aftermath of our decisions...life shouldnt be wasted with 'what if's'... I am taking the risk and if ever I get hurt, at least I have given my best. If my best wont be enough, it only means he isnt good enough for me!

Sweeter the Second Time Around

Having been away helped me cope with the first breakup. I was in Cebu and he went back to Nasipit. About 9 months passed and it was the month of September when I had a short vacation in our province. We talked because according to him, we never really had a breakup. We got back again and everything went on so smooth in 2002. There were petty quarrels but were sorted out. There was a time when we had a party at home with my batch mates and I never invited him because I was so mad at him for reasons I couldn’t recall now. But anyhow, we had good memories more than the bad and I don’t want to reminisce the latter.

He graduated in March 2003 and I did in October of the same year.

Un-holier This Time

As someone who was raised from a conservative family, I was always reminded by my mom not to give it all, but I did. Our physical intimacies grew and in the month of August, thinking it was just two months away from graduation, I gave myself to him. It was a decision I thought of a million times. A decision I made that until now, I hoped I hadn’t made.

The Guilt Trip

It isn’t regret I felt, but rather guilt because my faith was tested, and I was weak. It imprisoned me for years and at the time, the consolation I was getting was that I was sure of my feelings for him and that he won’t leave me hanging after what I have given. The guilt trip was one of the worst feelings I have experienced, having known that I have been blessed despite my being sinful. The guilt trip continually haunts me, and at times makes me feel unworthy of true love.

The so-called LDR

 Who says long distance relationships work? Maybe for a few lucky ones, but not for me and a few others I know. How many of you have heard stories of friends and cousins whose relationships were shattered because they fall out of love or worse they found someone new?  How many of you can say that the absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe or maybe not!

He had to go to Manila to look for a job. I had to stay in Nasipit for a while because I just graduated and I enjoyed my part time job as a disc jockey for Hot FM.  I wanted to follow him and planned to be with him for the summer to look for greener pastures, but it never happened because it never did.

The Inevitable

I call him most of the time because I was under the impression that he didn’t have enough finances to make long distance calls. He is still in the process of finding a job while I was already earning from the commercials I did on radio. I understood, because I trusted him. He makes an effort to also call or text me from time to time. And so he called on Valentine’s Day and told me that they went to Tagaytay with the girl and her friend. I believed him because I trusted him. He kept on reassuring me that they remained good friends and I’ve had no doubt about it because he said so.

A couple of weeks later, every time I call him at his uncle’s place in Cavite, I was told he had not been home for a week, and asked me to call his friends. I contacted Adong, and being a friend to us both, Adong never said a word, but I knew right there and then that something was wrong.

Women’s Instincts and Prayers

Women’s instincts aren’t always accurate but most of the time they are reliable. I prayed hard and even did a Novena. All I asked was for God to guide me and let me know if he is the one for me. God answered my prayer thru a friend. The answer was a clear “NO”.

One of my closest friend, Bamby, was at the time dating Richard who happens to be the ex-boyfriend of my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend.  Hmmmm. The ex-girlfriend’s best friend was communicating with Richard, which my friend Bamby was aware of. I called the friend and she gave me a hint that something is going on. On April 2 of 2003, I confronted them. Although I am aware that what I may hear will not be favorable to me, I insisted. No matter how painful it was, no matter how devastating it may seem. I was crying and the pain I felt was unimaginable. I was cheated.

The Closure

There was no closure until after about more than a year. The first time he went home was in the month of June. I was teaching in SJIT back then and one night from work, he was waiting for me along the corner while I was walking home. It was our first encounter after the confrontation over the phone in April.  It felt like I wanted to slap him and stab him to death. We never really had a conversation because I wasn’t ready. I was hysterical and very emotional. It was like a wound was just there and a skin was peeled off from that wound. I wanted to melt and just disappear forever.

It was only in January of the following year when we had a real conversation. The girl was already pregnant and it was about time to say goodbye. It was a sad goodbye. I hugged him so tight for the last time, he attempted kissing me but I didn’t kiss back. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I was trembling and my tears were flowing like the river, limitless. It was over. I can never have him back. 

Lessons Learned

Two people in love don’t always end up together. Sometimes, one has to let go for the better.  Love does not suffice. It doesn’t conquer all. Love can be deceiving in so many ways. Learn to let go if you have to. Accept the things you can’t change. Grieve. Cry. Let it out until the tears run dry, and if it does, the heart gets tired too. The heart will give up unknowingly.  If it happens, move on. The hardest part is acceptance. Learn to fail and stand up. As much as possible don’t dwell on the heartache. The pain will be healed in time. Sometimes 3 years won’t suffice, but eventually it will.

It took me almost three years to finally say that I have moved on from the past hurt I had been thru with my first and only boyfriend. We were together for almost three years, and the not-so-happy ending was not at all un-happy. Now that I have finally found the courage to disclose our love story that didn’t end so well, I am setting myself free from that past. I learnt the hard way I must say. Most of us do, I guess.

The May Affair

It was the month of May when he first approached me. He knew that he was my long time crush when I was in second year high school. He was one of the best basketball players and every girl in town would definitely want his attention. I was unfortunately one of them. He didn’t notice me at all, not until after approximately almost four years.  I was already in my second year college when I went home for summer vacation.  Basketball leagues are my favorite and I never failed to watch his team play. If we had a cheering squad, I could have been the cheerleader. From the “manang” in high school I morphed into a lady of sophistication, and that was when he took notice of me. He first asked me if he can walk with me, “sabay-sabay” as we call it in Bisaya. To my surprise, I said no, but turning him down didn’t stop him at all. The following day he went to our house with his friend inviting me to a beach party with the other singles in our ‘purok’.  I knew it was an alibi knowing that my neighbors were not really acquainted with me. My group of friends were from school and I hardly go out for beach parties. I was more of the “academic type” who knows only home, school and church. And the conversation went on, his friend (Batig as we call him) left the two of us at our mini-terrace. He expressed his intentions of wanting us to be together and I was laughing. I hardly knew him. I only knew his name and his exes. He was the first guy who was brave enough to challenge me. My other suitors before were blown away by the sands of cowardice. They feared me and my mom. So I told him I would think about it, but his convincing powers were indeed convincing. So I said yes on that same night, jokingly, because I remembered my brother wanting to have his basketball uniform. We shook hands as a confirmation that we were already together.

Mothers Knows Best

My mom has always been protective of me as their ‘unica hija’. She told me that this man will not do me any good, but I was stubborn. I wasn’t in love with him then, I just want to experience how it is to have a boyfriend. I liked him, yes, but that like was not enough for me to lose my sanity. We were doing well back then, although my mother was very vocal about not liking him at first, they got along later. When we harvested our fish pond, he goes with my mom and brothers while I was left home. We go to the beach often, the whole family and ‘him’. He visits me at home every night at around 8 o’clock, and at the time we were glued to watching soaps on TV. It was the traditional courtship where we sat in the living room with the whole clan around. He’d leave before midnight and we see each other again the following day.

Memoirs of Sugbu

He stopped school and transferred to Cebu where I was studying. I lived in a ladies dormitory run by RVM sisters and that meant I couldn’t spend time with him often because of the curphews and parent permission slips. Hence, I insisted that I transfer to make room for our relationship so I could be with him often. Our memories consist of those late nights eating ‘ngohiong’ and ‘puso’, him fetching me from school and us eating dinner together at home.

I was holier then. We started kissing and a little petting, but I never gave in. It was short-lived because I had a cold war with my roommate due to differences.

I moved again and this time, we already broke up.

The First Breakup

In a cold December night, he didn’t show up. It was actually December 31 and we were waiting for midnight. I found out later that he was with his ex girlfriend. I was furious because I already fell for him. She courted one lady who studied at the same school I was studying, intended me to catch him so I would have enough reasons to break up with him before December. I just figured it out now. He was fooling me. He knew that the ex-girl will be in our hometown for the holidays and intended to see her. All I knew was they were over and that the ‘girl’ wishes to speak with ‘him’. He even told me to go with him once they will have a talk, but I turned him down. I believe that what is between them, I should not interfere even if I am the present. I didn’t know what happened then. Until now, I am not even sure that he was telling the truth, but whatever happened, happened. I never said a word. He didn’t hear me say the word “breakup”. It was understood. I grieved a bit, but I’ve gotten over it sooner than I thought. It was painful but not that much. 

Lessons Learnt:

Men are good liars. Believe what they say and hope for the best, but, NEVER expect that they REALLY MEAN it!  If they said they love you, it isn’t entirely true because they don’t just love you, they also love her and them!

***the final confession will be out next week…

The first of March marks the beginning of the "Fire Prevention Month" in our beloved Philippines and this year’s theme is " Prevent Fire: Be informed, get involved!" I remember my brother, Quiven. Young as he is, he is socially involved into activities that are beneficial for him and for the community. He once volunteered at the community fire station during his high school days. It taught him well about discipline. So for the Fire prevention month, I too hope that the Filipino community will take part during fire prevention month by being informed and actively involved in activities, thus making our country a better place to live.

 Fire Alarm

 It is very ironic that during the fire prevention month, the more fire accidents occur. Statistics show that the month of March tallied the most number in the Philippines. Don’t you think we should switch on the fire alarm? Not literally, but at least know the precautions such  as unplugging all electronic devices at night, making sure that there are no candles left lit, and making sure cigars are thrown to the right places.

Where have all the Firefighters gone?

Our communities' practice in training adolescents during summer like real interns in firefighting was a great project. It doesn’t only aid the teenagers be kept away from vices, but rather, it helps develop awareness in the community. So when we run out of firefighters, we have reserves like the ones we have in the army.

No Fire, No Smoke

Besides the fact that lots of people lose homes during fire, it is also hazardous for the health. Imagine the smokes brought about by fire!  The smell of plastics and rubber not only destroys the ozone layer, it also destroys our lungs.

Accidents Don’t Just Happen

Yes it does not! Most of the common causes of fire include faulty electrical wirings, lit candles in the evening or gas tanks left open. If we only take responsibility in our actions, it would have been prevented. All it takes is just a bit of involvement and discipline, which most of us Filipinos unfortunately lack.

So for the Fire Prevention Month, let the fires of awareness begin and the light of community involvement burn in the hearts our kababayans back home!

-an unedited article for The Filipino Expats, Feb edition)

(as compiled by Ressa Gay Palma)

It just dawned upon me that people can be differentiated into 3 types for the love month. The Loveless, the so-in-love and the wishful-in-love.  Being glued on the topic about love, I came across an article stating facts and studies that LOVE can heal as powerfully as medicine, and these will give us great reasons to fall in love! J

Love makes you smarter
Falling in love induces a calming effect on the body and mind by raising levels of nerve growth for about a year. This hormone-like substance helps to restore the nervous system and improves memory by triggering the growth of new brain cells. (Sify News 2007.)

Love helps fight cancer
A new study from the University of Iowa found that ovarian cancer patients with a strong sense of connection to others and satisfying relationships had more vigorous "natural killer" cell activity at the site of their tumours than those who didn't have those social ties. (These desirable white blood cells kill cancerous cells as part of the body's immune system.) (Dr Vermon Coleman, author and GP.)

Love benefits your immune, endocrine and cardiovascular systems
We may also pay a price if we don't give love. Research shows that loving acts neutralise the kind of negative emotions that adversely affect immune, endocrine and cardiovascular function.
(Stephen Post Ph.D professor of bioethics and religion at Ohio's Case Western University.)

Love is good for your heart
The brain becomes "fired up" when talking to someone it finds attractive and sends impulses to the heart making it pound three times faster than normal. This results in increased blood supply to the body, specifically the cheeks and sexual organs, which gives us the feeling of butterflies in the stomach.
(Dr John Marsden PhD. chartered psychologist and senior lecturer at London's Institute of Psychiatry.)

A study conducted at the University of North Carolina found that couples who spent time in close physical contact, including hugging and talking with each other, had higher levels of oxytocin — the love hormone. Women also benefited from lower blood pressure. The authors speculated that greater oxytocin levels may increase the probability of future positive interactions, so that oxytocin and partner bonding reciprocate in a positive feedback loop.

So go and give someone a hug and help your heart!

Love makes you live longer
Studies have indicated that a lack of love causing social isolation increases the risk of early death by up to five times. Feeling connected is essential to good health.
(Dean Ornish MD, author of Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Health.)

Research carried out at The Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, suggests that selfless love can increase our immunity by de-stressing us as well as possibly extending our life spans and improving our mental health states, including reducing depression, for those who focus their attention on giving or helping others. So why not get out and get involved in a charity project?

Love can lower your cholesterol
Research has shown that expressing your feelings of affection can reduce cholesterol levels. A study in Human Communication Research found that people who wrote about their feelings of affection for significant friends, relatives, and/or romantic partners had significantly lower cholesterol levels than those that didn't.

Love is the elixir of youth
The endorphins produced by the body when in love increase blood flow to the skin, which helps keep it soft and smooth, and reduce the development of wrinkles. The increased supply of essential food and oxygen to skin cells when in love also give the face a pinker, healthier glow. (Dr Vermon Coleman, author and GP.)

So for the love-less, it’s about time to fall! For the so-in-love, just keep the fire burning and think of the benefits, and for the wishful-in-love, remember the Carpenters song “I know I need to be in love, I know I’ve wasted too much time. I know I asked perfection of a quite imperfect world and fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find!

Happy Red Day Everyone! Live, laugh and love!

Of New Years and Resolutions!

(an unedited text for The Filipino Expats Magazine)

By: Ressa Gay Palma

A New Year's resolution (as defined in Wikipedia) is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day and remain until fulfilled or abandoned. 

Such a precise definition of what a New Year’s Resolution is!  When I was in high school, I remember our English teacher asked us to write our New Year’s Resolution in a whole page of bond paper. Back then, I must admit, I wrote resolutions that aren’t really resolutions. Most of them are just written for the heck of complying.  What I failed to comprehend was that the purpose of writing it down was not supposed to remain in paper, but rather, put into actions.  As a brief trivia of how it all started I am quoting some texts from the internet to better our understanding of how the New Year’s resolution evolved.

“The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar. With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.

The New Year has not always begun on January 1, and it doesn't begin on that date everywhere today. It begins on that date only for cultures that use a 365-day solar calendar. January 1 became the beginning of the New Year in 46 B.C., when Julius Caesar developed a calendar that would more accurately reflect the seasons than previous calendars had.

The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new. The Romans began a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Year's Eve by giving one another branches from sacred trees for good fortune. Later, nuts or coins imprinted with the god Janus became more common New Year's gifts.”

The two faces of Janus is very symbolic.  Throughout our existence, we are Januse’s with two faces.  One face is looking at our past and the other facing our future. 

The past year had been a blast in so many ways. We have Obama, who won the presidency in the USA, the world crisis that terrified a lot of employees, and a number of those who lost their jobs but did not lose hope.  2008 was a year to remember, as well as 2009 as a year to look forward to.  I have interviewed a few who wishes to share their new year’s resolutions and vowed to fulfill them and not abandon them.

“2008 had been a great year for me. I gave birth to my first-born, Johann, my precious son. His existence in my life made a lot of changes. I am a freak when it comes to stilettos, and I would buy them even if there isn’t a need. And for 2009, my resolution would be to prioritize my son’s needs before mine. Not that I won’t buy stilettos anymore, but rather, I should weigh if it is necessary to buy them. This may sound so simple, yet a challenging resolution. Now that the world is in a financial crisis, I think all of us should learn how to manage our finances well. Buy things that are necessary and get rid of the unnecessary. And the simplest way to do it is to avoid window shopping at malls!”

                                                                                                                                              -Myrene of Jumeirah-

“I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions. I don’t have one myself. I am the kind of person who just lives my life each day. I do what is supposed to be done and whenever I make mistakes I don’t cling to them. I don’t look back at my past, and I don’t worry about my future either. The one thing I can say as some-sort of a vow is to be better person each day. I am not perfect and the counsel of the years is continually teaching me life’s lessons. So, for the new year, live and do what is right!”

                                                                                                                                                      -Imelda of Bur Dubai-

“I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life and the greatest of which is my infidelity to my wife. I am not a perfect husband and a perfect father, but I am trying to be one.  Looking back at my past, 2008 became my turning point. I’ve realized how important fidelity is in a relationship, and how important my family is to me.  It was a learning experience and I don’t want to look back. So for the new year, I will do what it takes to remain loyal to my family, to myself, and to the One above.”

                                                                                                                                                   -Jess of Sharjah-

So for the New Year, I pray that all of us be blessed! Whatever resolutions we have in mind, may this resolve our confusions and doubts, and pave way to a better us. The two faces of Janus allow us to look back and look back alone, with which the other face possesses enough courage to face the future.

Happy 2009!

Writer's Notes:

*names are changed to protect the privacy of the concerned individuals 

-I tried to celebrate Christmas the way Filipinos celebrate at home. Although I admit, being married to an American, I abruptly adopted to their ways of celebrating Christmas. But this I believe, no matter where you are, and in every part of the world, Christmas is all about giving and sharing. And that is how we celebrate Christmas.

Every Christmas, there is always Filipino gathering. It's all about fun, videoke, parlor games, and lots of Filipino food. Although, I miss the fireworks and the parties of every barangay in town, but we Filipinos abroad know how to make fun and we know how to party! Just like Christmas at home! But in the midst of it all, there is always that solemn moment that tells you, Christmas is never the same without your family. I think that's the only downside being away from home.

My first Christmas away from home was very sad. Although I attended the Filipino Christmas party a week prior to that, it hit me on Christmas Eve. I miss our Noche Buena as most Americans go to sleep early so that Santa will come at night to deliver gifts, eat cookie and drink milk. I find it cute but I miss the party, Christmas carols and family, and lots of food. I actually did prepare Noche Buena and asked my husband that we celebrate Christmas the same way we do it in the Philippines and he agreed. But unfortunately, he fell asleep.

- From Lester and Mae of New Zealand-

Christmas in the truest sense of the word need not only be celebrated in one season or night of partying and gift-giving. Ang Christmas ay Pasko when the spirit of sharing and loving is well-manifested throughout the year. Ang Christmas ay Pasko, even if we don't have hamon or keso de bola to put in our table, because the spirit of Christmas is within our hearts. It doesn’t matter where we are because as long as there are Filipino expats, the essence of paskong pinoy is always felt. Be it in Europe, Asia, Americas or even North Pole where Santa and his reindeer prepare our gifts.

And for us here in the UAE, we are blessed to have various Filipino communities. Matter-of-factly speaking, even if we are in a Muslim Country, we are given the privilege of celebrating it discretely in our own pinoy-ish style.

Maligayang Pasko and may the new year bring us new hope in this trying times when the world is in crisis.

We may have heard news about the recession, OFWs loosing jobs,  and company's closing however, the question  "Is the world in Crises?" remains a question to me. Where have all the riches gone? Is it with the people obsessed with power, or nations' greed for power?  These are just a few of the questions we/I kept on asking. I myself isnt an expert, not an economist but I guess I do have common sense at least that makes me capable of understanding simple mathematics (well, my algebra is below average, mind you!).

We were watching the news earlier, and we have seen stories of too many OFWs from TAIWAN who went home. Their dreams shattered. There was this one interview when the mom was like crying, not because the daughter lost the job but because she was worried how are they gonna pay their debts, or at least save the piece of land they owned which is used as a collateral for their loan. 

This story is very typically pinoy. Most of us, if not all, risked selling our properties, getting loans from the bank just to pay placement fees in exchange for a greener pasture. Is it really green? or Brown?

In this trying times when the world is in crises, or is it really? Is there someone to blame? If so, then who?  During the time when money was not yet invented, were there issues like economic crises? Who invented money then? Who created the problem?  I am not saying that money is the root of all evils, as the cliche goes. I am not against the technoligical advancements, or the perks civilization offered us because almost all of us are enjoying it. However, until then, I still hope life is a lot simpler. Well maybe it is simple, but we make it complicated.

I am scared, well not too scared though to loose my sanity. Scared that I may not be able to sustain my family's basic needs because of the crises. Where in fact, this crises isn't directly affecting the wealthy, it affects us, the commoners and the poor.  

Personally, I dont really think the world is in crises, but rather, we are victims of those people and nations whose greed for power is limitless. The world is not in crises, look at those people who own multi-billion houses yet they dont live there. Look at those who own a property continent to continent, buying islands to be named after them, owning multi-billion private jets and private yachts, and spending billions at the casino. Now all of you reading this, can you say the world is in crises? No, the world isn't.

Is the world in crises?

TO ALL FOLKS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1950's, 60' s, 70's and early 80's !!

First, some of us s urvived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us. While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, a te Linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo and didn't worry about diabetes. Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtaybog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong. We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y break ang bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon) Riding on the back of a carabao: on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon; ang mga bata wala na kaila ug Kabaw) We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis. We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and sofdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka. No one was able to reach us all day ( wala pa'y uso ang cellphone) . And yes, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street , wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh!

After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands . We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ........ ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. T

The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula,,,,singgitan lang dayon ug..Mayra,Gabaan! We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan. We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( Bato-Lata )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.

We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window! Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi. Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.

 That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had failure, success, and responsibility.

We learned from our mistakes the hard way. You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed.

And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were. It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!

:)